Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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