Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
