that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
