worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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