I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
