umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You were trust falling into bushes
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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