you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
