So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
