oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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