his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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