here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
