Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
