Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
