her vagine was all disorganized.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
