I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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