I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
