ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
