i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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