she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
