I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
