He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
