3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
