it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
