Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
