what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sext me about skeletons
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
