THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
