Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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