Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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