I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
