there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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