I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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