Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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