Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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