quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
