The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
