That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He shit in the fireplace
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
