My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
