i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
