the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
