got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize