Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we're making bets on your personal life
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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