I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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