The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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