Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize