we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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