just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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