matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
