i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
