Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
