I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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