your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
