I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
