If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
