Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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