I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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