My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
