It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
