yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
