she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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