worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
